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Two and a Half Men


Two and a Half Men Cast

Series Description

Two and a Half Men is a 30 minute comedy series on CBS about a wealthy, swinging-single bachelor whose straight-laced, loser brother and 10-year-old son move in with him. The brothers' different lifestyles and the bachelor's new-found experiences relating with a child in his household offers plenty of funny fodder for the series' writers!

Two and a Half Men Cast

Jon Cryer .... Alan Harper (2003-) Angus T. Jones .... Jake Harper (2003-2013) Charlie Sheen .... Charlie Harper (2003-2011) Conchata Ferrell .... Berta (2003-) Holland Taylor .... Evelyn Harper (2003-2012) Marin Hinkle .... Judith Harper (2003-) Melanie Lynskey .... Rose (2003-) Ashton Kutcher .... Walden Schmidt (2011-) Jennifer Taylor .... Chelsea (2003-2011) Courtney Thorne-Smith .... Lyndsey Mackelroy (2010-) Ryan Stiles .... Dr. Herb Melnick (2004-) Graham Patrick Martin .... Eldridge Mackelroy (2010-2012) Sophie Winkleman .... Zoey (2011-2012) April Bowlby .... Kandi (2005-2012) Jane Lynch .... Dr. Linda Freeman (2004-2011) Judy Greer .... Bridget Schmidt (2007-) Emmanuelle Vaugier .... Mia (2005-2011) Robert Clotworthy .... TV Announcer (2006-2012) Kelly Stables .... Melissa (2008-2010)

Two and a Half Men Trivia

    

Holland Taylor was not the first choice to play Charlie and Alan's mother, Evelyn Harper, on Two and a Half Men. Blythe Danner was hired for that role, played it in the pilot, and even began rehearsals for the regular episodes but had to quit due to other commitments.

Jon Cryer auditioned for the role of Chandler Bing on the series, "Friends". He was performing in a play in London at the time of auditions so he had to send a videotape rather than auditioning in person. Unfortunately for Jon, the tape didn't arrive until after NBC had already hired Matthew Perry.

It's understandable why Alan is always complaining about his alimony and why he's usually broke. His alimony payments come to $46,500 per year!

If you listen closely, you'll notice that the title of each Two and a Half Men episode is also a line spoken within that episode.

Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer had worked together once before, a dozen years before Two and a Half Men in the movie, "Hot Shots"! Jon Cryer also has a son named Charlie!

Unlike on most TV sets, the refridgerator in Charlie's kitchen actually works! Now ... the question is ... why don't they on other shows?

Charlie Sheen is the son of actor Martin Sheen (The West Wing). Most of us have heard about Charlie's troubles with the law over drug use charges, (by the way, he's been sober since 1998), but you may not realize that Martin has been arrested more than 70 times! Martin is very active politically and has been willing to go to jail for illegal protests and such when he believes in the cause. Martin has stated in public that actor Carroll O'Connor (All in the Family) was instrumental in helping Charlie to shake off his drug problems.

Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer did not sing the Two and a Half Men theme song. They lip-synced to the track that was sung by a number of in-studio musicians.

Two and a Half Men Theme Song

Title: "Men men men men, manly men men men!"

Written By: "Grant Geissman", "Lee Aronsohn", and "Chuck Lorre"

Performed By: "E.G. Dailey" and Other Studio Muscians


"Men men men men, manly men men men!"
"Men men men men, manly men men men!"
"Men men men men, manly men, oo hoo hoo, hoo hoo, oo.
"Men men men men, manly men men men!"
"Men men men men, manly men men men!"
"Men ..."

Episodes List With Original Air Dates

Season 1

  1. Pilot Episode (9/22/2003)
  2. Big Flappy Bastards (9/29/2003)
  3. Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell (10/6/2003)
  4. If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap (10/13/2003)
  5. The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump (10/20/2003)
  6. Did You Check With the Capt. of the Flying Monkeys? (10/27/2003)
  7. If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake (11/3/2003)
  8. Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful (11/10/2003)
  9. Phase One, Complete (11/17/2003)
  10. Merry Thanksgiving (11/24/2003)
  11. Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor (12/15/2003)
  12. Camel Filters + Pheromones (1/5/2004)
  13. Sara Like Puny Alan (1/12/2004)
  14. I Can't Afford Hyenas (2//2004)
  15. Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick - Part 1 (2/9/2004)
  16. That Was Saliva, Alan - Part 2 (2/16/2004)
  17. Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats (2/23/2004)
  18. An Old Flame With a New Wick (3/1/2004)
  19. I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You (4/22/2004)
  20. Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark (5/19/2004)
  21. No Sniffing, No Wowing (5/3/2004)
  22. My Dr. has a Cow Puppet (5/10/2004)
  23. Just Like Buffalo (5/17/2004)
  24. Can You Feel My Finger? (5/24/2004)

Season 2

  1. Back Off Mary Poppins (9/20/2004)
  2. Enjoy Those Garlic Balls (9/27/2004)
  3. A Bag Full of Jawea (10/4/2004)
  4. Go Get Mommy's Bra (10/11/2004)
  5. Bad News from the Clinic (10/18/2004)
  6. The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance (10/25/2004)
  7. A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana (11/8/2004)
  8. Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers (11/15/2004)
  9. Yes, Monsignor (11/22/2004)
  10. The Salmon Under My Sweater (11/29/2004)
  11. Last Chance to See Those Tattoos (12/13/2004)
  12. A Lungful of Alan (1/3/2005)
  13. Zejdz z Moich Wlosow (1/17/2005)
  14. Those Big Pink Things with Coconut (1/31/2005)
  15. Smell the Umbrella Stand (2/7/2005)
  16. Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth? (2/14/2005)
  17. Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam! (2/21/2005)
  18. It Was Mame, Mom (3/7/2005)
  19. A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise (3/21/2005)
  20. I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey (4/18/2005)
  21. A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On (5/2/2005)
  22. That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother (5/9/2005)
  23. Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab (5/16/2005)
  24. Does This Smell Funny to You? (5/23/2005)

Season 3

  1. Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts (9/19/2005)
  2. Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover (9/26/2005)
  3. Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark (10/3/2005)
  4. Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs (10/10/2005)
  5. We Called It Mr. Pinky (10/17/2005)
  6. Hi, Mr. Horned One (10/24/2005)
  7. Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop (11/7/2005)
  8. That Voodoo That I Do Do (11/14/2005)
  9. Madame and Her Special Friend (11/21/2005)
  10. Something Salted and Twisted (11/28/2005)
  11. Santa's Village of the Damned (12/19/2005)
  12. That Special Tug (1/9/2006)
  13. Humiliation is a Visual Medium (1/23/2006)
  14. Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded (2/6/2006)
  15. My Tongue is Meat (2/27/2006)
  16. Ergo, The Booty Call (3/6/2006)
  17. The Unfortunate Little Schnauser (3/13/2006)
  18. The Spit-Covered Cobbler (3/20/2006)
  19. Golly Moses, She's A Muffin (4/10/2006)
  20. Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro (4/24/2006)
  21. And the Plot Moistens (5/1/2006)
  22. Just Once With Aunt Sophie (5/8/2006)
  23. Arguments for the Quickie (5/15/2006)
  24. That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite (5/22/2006)

Season 4

  1. Working for Caligula (9/18/2006) at 9:00 PM (Eastern) on CBS
  2. Who's Vod Kanockers (9/25/2006)
  3. The Sea is a Harsh Mistress (10/2/2006)
  4. A Pot Smoking Monkey (10/9/2006)
  5. A Live Woman of Proven Fertility (10/16/2006)
  6. Apologies for the Frivolity (10/23/2006)
  7. Repeated Blows to his Unformed Head (11/6/2006)
  8. Release the Dogs (11/13/2006)
  9. Corey's Been Dead For an Hour (11/20/2006)
  10. Kissing Abraham Lincoln (11/27/2006)
  11. Walnuts and Demerol (12/11/2006)
  12. Castrating Sheep in Montana (1/8/2007)
  13. Don't Worry, Speed Racer (1/22/2007)
  14. That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami (2/5/2007)
  15. My Damn Stalker (2/12/2007)
  16. Young People Have Phlegm Too (2/19/2007)
  17. I Merely Slept With a Commie (2/26/2007)
  18. It Never Rains in Hooterville (3/19/2007)
  19. Smooth as a Ken Doll (4/9/2007)
  20. Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot (4/16/2007)
  21. Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous (4/23/2007)
  22. Mr. McGlue's Feedbag (4/30/2007)
  23. Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin (5/7/2007)
  24. Prostitutes and Gelato (5/14/2007)

Season 5

  1. Large Birds, Spiders and Mom (9/24/2007)
  2. Media Room Slash Dungeon (10/1/2007)
  3. Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo (10/8/2007)
  4. City of Great Racks (10/15/2007)
  5. Putting Swim Fins on a Cat (10/22/2007)
  6. Help Daddy Find His Toenail (10/29/2007)
  7. The Leather Gear is in the Guest Room (11/5/2007)
  8. Is There a Mrs. Waffles? (11/12/2007)
  9. Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids (11/19/2007)
  10. Kinda Like Necrophilia (11/26/2007)
  11. Meander to Your Dander (3/17/2008)
  12. A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh (3/24/2008)
  13. The Soil is Moist (3/31/2008)
  14. Winky-Dink Time (4/14/2008)
  15. Rough Night in Hump Junction (aka: "His Ugly Bundle") (4/21/2008)
  16. Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty (4/28/2008)
  17. Fish in a Drawer (5/5/2008)
  18. If My Hole Could Talk (5/12/2008)
  19. Waiting for the Right Snapper (5/19/2008)

Season 6

  1. Taterhead Is Our Love Child (9/22/2008)
  2. Pie Hole, Herb (9/29/2008)
  3. Damn You, Eggs Benedict (10/6/2008)
  4. The Flavin' and the Mavin' (10/13/2008)
  5. A Jock Strap in Hell (10/20/2008)
  6. It's Always Nazi Week - Part 1 (11/3/2008)
  7. Best H.O. Money Can Buy - Part 2 (11/10/2008)
  8. Pinocchio's Mouth (11/17/2008)
  9. The Mooch At The Boo (11/24/2008)
  10. He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited (12/8/2008)
  11. The Devil's Lube (12/15/2008)
  12. Thank God for Scoliosis (1/12/2009)
  13. I Think You Offended Don (1/19/2009)
  14. David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie (2/2/2009)
  15. I'd Like to Start With the Cat (2/9/2009)
  16. She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime (3/2/2009)
  17. The 'OCU' or the 'PADO'? (3/9/2009)
  18. My Son's Enormous Head (3/16/2009)
  19. The Two Finger Rule (3/30/2009)
  20. Hello, I'm Alan Cousteau (4/13/2009)
  21. Above Exalted Cyclops (4/27/2009)
  22. Sir Lancelot's Litter Box (5/4/2009)
  23. Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth (5/11/2009)
  24. Baseball Was Better with Steroids (5/18/2009)

Season 7

  1. 818-jklpuzo (9/21/2009)
  2. Whipped Unto the Third Generation (9/28/2009)
  3. Mmm, fish. Yum. (10/5/2009)
  4. Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator (10/12/2009)
  5. For the Sake of the Child (10/19/2009)
  6. Give Me Your Thumb (11/2/2009)
  7. Untainted by Filth (11/9/2009)
  8. Gord. Fnark. Schmegle. (11/16/2009)
  9. Capt. Terry's Spray-On Hair (11/23/2009)
  10. That's Why They Call It Ball Room (12/7/2009)
  11. Warning, It's Dirty (12/14/2009)
  12. Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste (1/11/2010)
  13. Yay, No Polyps! (1/18/2010)
  14. Crude and Uncalled For (2/1/2010)
  15. Aye, Aye, Capt. (2/8/2010)
  16. Tinkle Like a Princess (3/1/2010)
  17. I Found Your Moustache (3/8/2010)
  18. Ixnay on the Oggie Day (3/22/2010)
  19. Keith Moon is Vomiting in his Grave (4/12/2010)
  20. I Called Him Magoo (5/10/2010)
  21. Gumby with a Pokey (5/17/2010)
  22. This Is Not Gonna End Well (5/24/2010)

Season 8

  1. Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud (9/20/2010)
  2. A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer (9/27/2010)
  3. A Pudding-Filled Cactus (10/4/2010)
  4. Hookers, Hookers, Hookers (10/11/2010)
  5. The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel (10/18/2010)
  6. Twanging Your Magic Clanger (10/25/2010)
  7. The Crazy Bitch Gazette (11/1/2010)
  8. Springtime On A Stick (11/8/2010)
  9. A Good Time in Central Africa (11/15/2010)
  10. Ow, Ow, Don't Stop (11/22/2010)
  11. Dead From The Waist Down (12/6/2010)
  12. Chocolate Diddlers Or My Puppy's Dead (12/13/2010)
  13. Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup (1/3/2011)
  14. Lookin' for Japanese Subs (1/17/2011)
  15. Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak (2/7/2011)
  16. That Darn Priest (2/14/2011)

Season 9

  1. Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt - Part 1 (9/19/2011)
  2. People Who Love Peepholes - Part 2 (9/26/2011)
  3. Big Girls Don't Throw Food (10/3/2011)
  4. Nine Magic Fingers (10/10/2011)
  5. A Giant Cat Holding a Churro (10/17/2011)
  6. The Squat and The Hover (10/24/2011)
  7. Those Fancy Japanese Toilets (10/31/2011)
  8. Thank You For The Intercourse (11/7/2011)
  9. Frodo's Headshots (11/14/2011)
  10. A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes (11/21/2011)
  11. What a Lovely Landing Strip (12/5/2011)
  12. One False Move, Zimbabwe! (12/12/2011)
  13. Slowly and in a Circular Fashion (1/2/2012)
  14. A Possum on Chemo (1/16/2012)
  15. The Duchess of Dull-In-Sack (2/6/2012)
  16. Sips, Sonnets And Sodomy (2/13/2012)
  17. Not In My Mouth (2/20/2012)
  18. The War Against Gingivitis (2/27/2012)
  19. Palmdale, Ech (3/19/2012)
  20. Grandma's Pie (4/9/2012)
  21. Mr. Hose Says 'Yes' (4/16/2012)
  22. Why We Gave Up Women (4/30/2012)
  23. The Straw In My Donut Hole (5/7/2012)
  24. Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! (5/14/2012)

Season 10

  1. I Changed My Mind About the Milk (9/27/2012)
  2. A Big Bag of Dog (10/4/2012)
  3. Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt (10/11/2012)
  4. You Know What The Lollipop Is For (10/18/2012)
  5. That's Not What They Call It In Amsterdam (10/25/2012)
  6. Ferrets, Attack! (11/1/2012)
  7. Avoid the Chinese Mustard (11/8/2012)
  8. Something My Gynecologist Said (11/15/2012)
  9. I Scream When I Pee (11/29/2012)
  10. One Nut Johnson (12/6/2012)
  11. Give Santa A Tail-Hole (12/13/2012)
  12. Welcome to Alancrest (1/3/2013)
  13. Grab A Feather And Get In Line (1/10/2013)
  14. Run, Steven Staven! Run! (1/31/2013)
  15. Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It (2/7/2013)
  16. Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby (2/14/2013)
  17. Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries (2/21/2013)
  18. Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It (3/7/2013)
  19. Big Episode. Someone Stole A Spoon (3/14/2013)
  20. Bazinga! That's From A TV Show (4/4/2013)
  21. Another Night With Neil Diamond (4/25/2013)
  22. My Bodacious Vidalia (5/2/2013)
  23. Cows, Prepare To Be Tipped (5/9/2013)

Season 11

  1. Nangnangnangnang (9/26/2013)
  2. I Think I Banged Lucille Ball (10/3/2013)
  3. This Unblessed Biscuit (10/10/2013)
  4. Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank (10/17/2013)
  5. Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 (10/24/2013)
  6. Justice In Star-Spangled Hot Pants (11/7/2013)
  7. Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie (11/14/2013)
  8. Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room (11/21/2013)
  9. Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer (12/5/2013)
  10. On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer! (12/12/2013)
  11. Tazed In The Lady Nuts (1/2/2014)
  12. Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. (1/9/2014)
  13. Bite Me, Supreme Court (1/30/2014)
  14. Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe (2/6/2014)
  15. Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin (2/27/2014)
  16. How to Get Rid of Alan Harper (3/6/2014)
  17. Welcome Home, Jake (3/13/2014)
  18. West Side Story (4/3/2014)
  19. Daddy's Got a Healthy Flavor Stick (4/10/2014)
  20. Lotta Delis in Little Armenia (4/24/2014)
  21. Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot (5/1/2014)
  22. Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead (5/8/2014)

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